I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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