'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Randomize
