it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
