We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
