There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
