Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
