Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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