who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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