nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize