I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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