playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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