do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize