I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
