it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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