Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
How does it feel to date your dad?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
