I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
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