My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
We have started to decorate penises.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
