I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Randomize
