You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
