Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
