If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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