So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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