I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
