We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize