therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
