I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
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