well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
