you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
why is half of my head shaved?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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