i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I'm like, not good at living.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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