I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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