dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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