no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
