ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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