I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize