I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
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