he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
