hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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