She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
My dick has a subreddit
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
