If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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