I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
