I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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