Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Randomize
