it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I didn't notice because vodka
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
