Kareoke will never be a sober sport
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
