Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
