words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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