It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
