yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Randomize
