singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
vagina is talking i cant
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
