it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
