alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Randomize
