...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
