so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
