4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
wow bdsm is so cute
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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