Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize