dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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