Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize