Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.

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(307): View more from Wyoming

i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.

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(217): View more from Illinois

It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.

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(303): View more from Colorado

Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa

(603): View more from New Hampshire

I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

I think the camel was justified in biting me.

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(318): View more from Louisiana

Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".

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(815): View more from Illinois

The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better

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(702): View more from Nevada

If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money

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