I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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